Tags Posts tagged with "woman"

woman

Woman has many definitions according to the mindset of people. I would define a woman as a multi-tasker capable of maintaining a balance between professional and personal lives similarly like a man. Hence, ideally the stress of survival for a man and a woman should be equivalent however; in the real situation life of a woman is not easy.

Yes, it is not easy to be a woman and I can provide several facts proving this but herein, I am giving ten momentous reasons to prove this:-

  1. When a girl is born, many times, the families are not happy. The birth of a girl is considered as a liability while that of a boy is considered as a moment of pride. This is the reason why female foeticide is prominent in the states of Haryana, Rajasthan and others.
  2. Even if the girl is not killed inside the mother’s womb, she is killed at every moment of life when the father considers her as a liability. Her pain is heartfelt when she is not allowed to play and study as her brothers and male cousins. She finds it is inhuman treatment when her parents ask her to do the household stuff because she is a girl. Yet, she gets accustomed to the circumstances.

Well! Because of these two main causes, the girls suffer other kinds of discrimination also. Coming back to them: –

  1. The girl has to get accustomed to the circumstances which she does not find favorable otherwise, she is considered as a characterless woman. The girls are considered as the reputation of the family and hence, their life is amidst numerous conditions while boys are free. The girl has to wear clothes accordingly otherwise she might be a victim of eve-teasing. It seems as if it’s the responsibility of the girl to protect herself from all the unwanted stuffs and the most of the times she should bear the nasty comments because she is a girl. Well! This is a norm but boys are often not punished for eve-teasing a girl except of the case, when girl rises the voice and make an official complaint strongly.
  2. Girl should not enjoy the late night parties or else her character is judged. A woman can neither come late to her house. A lady should not oppose the wrongdoers or else they can contaminate her character. After all, rapes happen in our nation but the problem is that the character of a rape victim is subjected to judgment but not the deed of the brutal rapist. A rapist can get married and start a family but a rape victim can’t.
  3. A normal woman should be a super-heroine. She should take care of her parents, her in-laws, her husband, her kids, her job, her house and everything else. And above all, if she misses even a duty, she can be a subject of humiliation, or harassment. She is neither safe in her house nor at her workplace. She can be a victim of sexual harassment at her workplace and if she oppose, her character is again at the stake of judgment. Same happens, even in her house wherein she could be a victim of domestic violence, emotional harassment, dowry harassment, marital rape and what not but being a woman she should endure every adverse circumstance.
  4. From her home to her workplace, she is not at all safe. The people tend to judge her character on the basis of her clothes, her lifestyle. Thus, she has to live her life according to her families’ and her society’s customs and she is not independent to live her life as she wants and if she opposes, than it’s not at all good for her.
  5. She should be educated, beautiful, intelligent, and must be earning well. Her parents must also give hefty dowry in order to get her married. When, everything is required yet, if a girl belonging to a typical Indian family wants to step out of her hometown for studies or job, her professional growth is amidst the constraints of the societal norms.
  6. Such is the mindset of our nation that we have help-lines to protect women and we have laws to provide justice but the basic necessities for a woman are considered to be the items of luxury. The Personal Hygiene Items for a woman are subjected to 12% of GST and are considered amongst the item of luxury while the Family Planning Items are considered as necessities and are tax-free. The hypocrisy of our nation is clear.
  7. Scientifically, the woman suffers the pain equivalent to the pain suffered during a heart attack during the five days of her menstrual cycle. And during pregnancy, the gestation period is also associated with unbearable pain with long-term consequences. Apart from this, the labor pain during the delivery of the child has an extremely high density. Every woman suffers this stuff in her lifetime and moreover, she endures and emerges out of it. Yet, she is considered to be fragile. The fact is that she is the strongest.
  8. The fathom of a woman’s heart is unbelievable. She is so much attached to her family and loved ones that she has stamina and power to sacrifice her career, her life. Yet, at any moment she can hear that she has not done anything.

Well! I was compelled to write this article due to the hypocrisies in our nation. We tend to respect and worship a woman Goddess Durga during Durga Pooja yet in reality; we tend not to respect the women in our lives. We tend to mistreat our mothers, sisters, spouses, friends etc by judging them at various moments of the life or by not encouraging them following their instinct. Herein, I don’t want to preach about equality or discrimination. All I want is that the readers must give a thought and feel the pain of the woman’s heart when she finds her life to be difficult because a woman’s life is not easy.

 

 

276

I want to tell the story of a single mother who happens to be my best friend. This is just one story but I am sure it is the story of thousands that are similar. My friend married when she was just eighteen years old, a man nine years her senior. Shortly after they began their married life together she found out that she was expecting their first child. Then, after seven months of excited expectation and preparation, she received the earth-shattering news: her baby, the child she had prayed for and carried, was dead. She and her husband reacted very differently to this tragedy and that was, so to say, the beginning of the end.

Five years after this she and her husband were given a beautiful, healthy baby boy, followed nineteen months later by another. Although this couple was blessed with lively healthy children, their marriage was by now definitely on the rocks. My friend was doing everything she could, for her children’s sake to hold her family together. Two years later she found out that she was expecting again, a child her husband never wanted. But she held on, determined to accept this child as the gift that it was. She was given a beautiful, bouncing baby girl. Unfortunately, some months after her daughter was born, her marriage was broken beyond repair. Her husband left and they divorced. Within the year he remarried and three years later he disappeared from their lives completely.

Abandoned with no support or financial aid, she made attempts to locate her ex-husband, hoping that he would want to be part of his children’s lives. Unfortunately these enquiries led to yet another tragedy when she was finally told by authorities that her children’s father was dead. She now was not only left to raise her children alone, but she had to find a way to help and guide her three young children, (by now nine, seven and four respectively), through the grief and pain of their father’s death, as well as dealing with her own grief.

a-mother-3

With no qualifications to her name and no family nearby to help her practically, she had a hard time finding and holding a job. When she did have a job there was no one to be there for her children when they needed looking after. She relied on relatives, charity and benefits to keep her head above water, often having to humble herself to ask for help or depriving herself to make sure there was enough for her children.

A few years later she moved with her children back to the town of their birth. Yet again fate added another twist to her tale: here she found out, after four years, that her ex-husband was very much alive and living across town from them. She again summoned all of her strength and courage and contacted him in hopes that he would want to see his children. He didn’t, so she soldiered on alone.

As her children began entering their teens things progressively got worse. She was subjected to bitter heartache as both her sons displayed the emotional and social scars of their father’s abandonment: suicidal inclinations (one almost to the point of being institutionalized), bullying, sickness, depression, low self-esteem, and so on. But she never stopped fighting for her children, never stopped praying, and never stopped loving.

a-mother-1

Through every obstacle and hurdle life put in her path she doggedly held on to her faith and her firm trust in the promise that God would not ask more of her than she was capable of giving, and would not ask her to bear more than she was capable of carrying. She fought daily to instill in her children the values and morals her own childhood had lacked. She was always brutally honest about her mistakes and failings in hopes that her children would learn from her life and long for more. She gave every ounce of strength she had to support her children both inwardly and outwardly, always encouraging them, not to be the best but to be their best.

Her children are all in their twenties now and have gone their own ways. She no longer has contact with her sons. That’s just the way it’s turned out. But her mother’s love for them will live on. She will never give up on them, never stop hoping, never stop praying – they are her sons. And they will always remember her love, the childhood she so valiantly strove to give them, and the endless self-sacrifice she endured for them. They will appreciate it one day. I know, because this is my mother’s story. I am her fourth and youngest child and am only just beginning to realize all that she has done for me and my brothers in the twenty years since our father left us – all that we owe her.

So to all those whose lives are similarly playing out, who may wonder if their children will ever appreciate what they are doing or hold it against them, I say never give up. One day your children will appreciate the gift that they have in their mother. It may take years (it’s taken me almost twenty), and unfortunately you may never see it, but one day they will appreciate you and take the chance to say what every mother’s child should say: “Thank you, Mom.”

Article Courtesy : Niralee Nirlipta, Senior PRO & Content Writer